Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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