He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Terrible idea I love it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
