1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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