no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
