No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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