Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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