I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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