In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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