it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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