Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize