Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If I die, sorry about rent.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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