I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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