So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize