I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
