i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize