You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize