guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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