I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
