So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
