Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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