Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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