Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
it glows. i had to have it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
