Sry I called you an 8
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
