Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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