Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
