return my video game
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
