If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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