I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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