Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
