what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
