I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
