what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
