Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
