the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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