i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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