Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
