I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
