Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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