tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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