So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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