my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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