she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
