If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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