alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
