operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
