One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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