wakey wakey hands off snakey
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
