Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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