you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
