Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
