Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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