you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
