Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
