It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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