As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
