it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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