Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
