Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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