I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
being pregnant is like rehab
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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