I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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