After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
