PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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