how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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