I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
